7 am: I’m going to make a great dinner for my family tonight. My hubby’s been working so hard and the boys have been so hungry at the end of the day; I’m going to really make them something great. Healthy, but so delicious the kids will love it anyway and everyone will push their chair away from the table at dinner’s end and just FEEL the love I poured onto their plates.

9 am: So many great recipes in these cookbooks! I should use a good old-fashioned book more. Forget the internet. The turn of a page. That’s what it’s about. Hmm…why is this sticky? Is that ketchup? Gross. I don’t think that’s ketchup. What IS that? I’ll google it. And I’ll google a chicken recipe.

12 pm: Shoot. I forgot to defrost the chicken. Better get to the market.

3:00 pm: How did I not get to the store? I could go with the kids now. But then they’ll want snacks, I’ll say no, they’ll tantrum, I’ll lose my patience. Better for their social emotional development if I skip the market. Responsible parenting, really.

4:00 pm: But look at all this great produce in my fridge! I’ll make a vegetarian meal. Yes! Seasonal and veggie forward! Perfect!

4:02 pm: That’s a lot of washing and chopping…How do you cook kale so that it doesn’t taste like, well, kale? Are these carrots bad? Is that slime? How do I know when carrots are bad? What if I give the kids botulism? That’s so dangerous. Better just skip it. To be safe. Pasta it is. Organic, whole wheat pasta.

5:15 pm: We have no pasta? Seriously, what do I even buy when I go grocery shopping?! Oh yeah…snacks. Maybe I can just whip up a…a….hmm.

5:16 pm: “Yes, sir, that’s right. Extra, extra cheese. You know. To show my family I love them. 30 minutes? Thanks.”

Pro tip: When all else fails, serve them something in stemware.