30: Inches of snow accumulated;

746: # of times toddler begs to go play in snow;

745: # of times father successfully wards off request;

1: # of times silly, silly mother consents to request and places herself at receiving end of father’s glares;

35: # of minutes spent dressing family for snow adventure;

11: # of minutes spent in snow;

11: # of minutes spent in snow with a child crying to leave said snow;

14: # of times hot chocolate is requested;

4: # of times hot chocolate is sent back to kitchen for temperature correction and marshmallow placement;

12: # of snacks/ meals prepared for “starving” children;

2: # of preparations deemed acceptable enough for full consumption. (Both are yogurt);

3: # of pajama changes required due to apparent barometric precipitous atmospheric changes that cause potty-trained toddlers to be unable to use toilets during blizzards;

16: # of showings of Minions, Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2 or Minions shorts;

100: % certainty parents feel that their children are an eerily close real-life approximation of minions;

9: # of bananas consumed (see above);

7: Time first tired toddler passes out for the night;

1: # of parental high fives this inspires;

1.5: # of glasses of wine father consumes putting himself at receiving end of pregnant mother glares;

2: In the morning. Time first tired toddler wakes for the day, announcing, “I have so much energy!”

Countless: Tears shed in the dark;

0: # of tears belonging to toddler.

One of the tiny tyrants marches into the snowy sunset…He’ll be back in ten and a half minutes.